No "Oops" about it!!

I DID IT AGAIN!!

Student Grades

Fall Semester 2009

CRN Subject Course Course Title Midterm Final
43024 ART 1120 Design A
47619 ART 2300 Alternative Photography A
49445 ART 2310 Studio Photography A
41788 ART 2330 A History of Photography A

Here are some of my final pictures for my Alternative Photography class:

I worked so hard this semester and it paid off!! :)

Earliest Memory

I did this in my Alternative Photography class. We used Infrared film, Changed a regular image to infrared in photoshop and had to take a digital image with an infrared filter. Our theme was to do pictures of our earliest memory. I scanned these in to show you guys.

Something Different

This is my new haircut and color! Thanks Megan!! I LOVE it! I wanted to do something different. I get like that sometimes, like when I chopped my hair off after graduation. since I have been going through a hard time lately, I just wanted to feel different. I love the new look! :)

Funny Story:
I was working by myself yesterday and was helping some people. A guy walked in, holding a bad of groceries and a 64 oz fountain drink in his hand. The door hit his hand so he dropped his entire drink all over the floor!! He swears, picks up the cup and walks out!! He doesn't say anything to me! He doesn't offer to clean it up, say sorry or anything! He just leaves!! When I am done helping people, I get the mop to go clean it up. The store STINKS of alcohol!! No wonder he was so mad! I would say that his drink had to be at least 2/3 to 3/4 alcohol if not the entire thing. I had to open the doors to air out the store because the stuff smelled so strong. Nice guy.

Strange thing:
Yesterday when I was driving home from work, in order to get onto the freeway from 4th South, I had to go through a police check point!! That has never happened before!! There were SO MANY cops! They had cars pulled over to the side, and a police officer was shinning a light on their liscence plates. They let me through, so I must not have matched any descriptions of what they were looking for. I REALLY wanted to stop and ask them what had happened though! Anyone know?!?

Studio Final

Here is my Studio Final! He said we were supposed to incorporate everything we had learned in one big final picture. I might have taken him a little too literally, but I like it. Studio is going out with a party!! :)

A Study of Light with Krappy Kameras

For my Alternative class, our assignment was to pick a subject from her list and take pictures with three "krappy kameras". We were required to use a Holga Camera and then two others of out choice. I chose to use my cell phone camera and a disposable camera. These are the final, blown up, matted pictures that I turned in. I think you can tell, but I chose light as my subject. What do you guys think? Can you tell which cameras were used for which ones? These are all sunrise except for the last one. That is a sunset.

Studio Portraits

This week in Studio, our assignment was to do portraits. I thought that this would be a good time to do Sarah Lauritzen's missionary pictures that she has been asking me to do. However, I also asked my other friend Sarah, from work, to come too just in case.

Sarah L. ended up forgetting about it, so it was a good thing I asked Sarah G. too. I think that they turned out really good!!

Sarah G. and I had a lot of fun. We played around and tried a lot of different things. We did some ANTM stuff and other really crazy things. These are just my favorites, but I post some of the other ones if you guys want to see them.

This is the one that I turned in for my class. The requirement was that the picture only be the head and shoulders, so I cropped into this one a little more. I got a 9 on it! My teacher just said that the shadow on the nose was a little too much.

Thanks Sarah!! I really appreciate your help with my assignment!!

Since my camera was on a tripod, and I already had the light set up, I had Sarah take a couple pictures of me too. :) What do you guys think?

Kennedy

For over the last month, Kennedy has started acting really weird. We all went out to dinner for Eddy's birthday on the first Thursday of October. After dinner we went to a haunted house. I had a ton of fun! It has been a long time since all of us have hung out together. Everything seemed fine to me. I talked to my friends about throwing a Halloween party, and they said that all I had to do was tell them what day, and they would be there.

A little over a week later, Where the Wild Things Are came out. I knew Kennedy had really wanted to see that, and I thought maybe we could go together. I tried to call him to see when he was free and he didn't answer. Not completely uncommon. Kennedy and I usually work completely different schedules. So, I got on facebook and asked him about it. That is when I started noticing that something was wrong. I could tell that he was getting on everyday because he would update his statis, but he wouldn't ever answer me. I would call him and he wouldn't answer, he wouldn't answer my texts, return my messages or write me back on facebook. I kept trying to find out if my friends were going to come to my party. None of them did. Eddy was out of town, Will lives in Logan, Ben had to work, Jay had a date and Kennedy never even answered me.

Later, I asked my friend Jay over texts if Kennedy was mad at me. He said, "You will have to talk to Kennedy about that." I kind of freaked out. That meant to me that something really was wrong because if he didn't know anything, he woulod have just said so. I called Kennedy back (he didn't answer) and left him a message. I said, "I guess you really are mad at me, and I have no idea why you would be. If you want to actually let me know what is going on, then please call me back and let me know." Instead of calling me back, he got onto facebook and wrote me this:

"Sorry Chelsee, I'm not mad at you, and I'm doing all right. I just need some time to work out a few things in my life which has caused me to be somewhat neglectful. I hope I haven't caused you too much grief and I hope I can explain better later. Sorry again."

I said, "I don't understand... I'll leave you alone and give you time or whatever it is that you need, but I don't understand why you are cutting me out. I was really upset that none of you guys came to my party when I tried so hard to make sure that you could. You are one of my best friends and I miss you. I hope that you figure out whatever it is that you are going through. If you need someone just to listen, please call me. I know I have been busy, but I will always make time for you if you need me."

All he said was "Thanks Chelsee." Then I said, "One more question... Does any of this have to do with me?" He never answered.

I then tried Jay again. I told him that Kennedy said he needed spaced and asked him if this had to do with me or if it was something else completely. He said, "He seems fine to me. He will talk to you about it when he is ready." Whatever that means!

I tried to leave him alone and give him the space that he asked for, but I couldn't completely do it. First of, Kennedy is one of my BEST friends. I would talk to him about everything, and I probably hang out with him more than any of my other friends. We do everything together! We go see movies, try to figure out soundtracks, get dinner, talk for hours, we even run around and take pictures with all the different blow up things in people's yards for fun. We have so many inside jokes. I love being around him. Especially with how hard school has been and how much I have been working, when I have the time, I really try to do something fun. I liked hanging out with Kennedy because he usually made me really happy.

Anyways, Natalie wanted to go to lunch with me and she wanted to go to Nelson's. We ran into him there. He was nice to me, but talked more to her than to me. I went in again later with Kjersti, and it was completely awkward. I rna into his brother, who didn't know anything about it. I asked how Kennedy was doing and he said, "Good. You should know. You talk to him every other day."

I called Kennedy again and left another message asking him if he was ever going to talk to me again and if he was still planning on being my date to New Moon. (I asked him about a month ago.) Kjersti and I ran into him again at Nelson's and he told me that he was still planning on going. I tried to make a plan for us to talk, but he said that he couldn't that weekend, but he would call me the next. I was so excited that he was talking to me again! I knew things weren't fixed, but I thought they were at least going better.

I sent Kennedy a text a few days later asking if he would be able to get work off before the movie so that we could all go to dinner. He didn't answer. When I saw him again at Nelson's, he didn't even acknowledge me. I called him again the next day and asked him if he even wantd to go with me. I said that I had tried to ask him, he didn't answer, and he clearly still didn't want to talk to me. He sent me a text yesterday saying, "Yeah, I should be able to go to dinner. I can't really explain what's going on, I just need a major change. Sorry but I mostly only spend time with family now." I said, "For good or just for now? Are we not god friends like we were before?" He said, "To be honest, for good. At least for a long while. But I don't want you to feel like I'm shunning you." I said, "Even though you are? I am trying really really hard not to take this personally but I am. You are one of my best friends and I have told you a lot of personal things. I don't understand why you can't tell me what you are going through now." He said, "I am really sorry that I've hurt your feelings but I don't know what more I can say right now." I said, "Please just tell me why. Even if you can't explain fully, at least let me know what it has to do with."

After that, I just started crying. I am losing my best friend and I don't even know why! I don't felt like I have done anything wrong. Out of all of my friends, Kennedy was always the one that has never treated me like this before, so I don't know how to handle it. Later, I sent him another text telling him that I had been crying a lot and that I needed some sort of explaination. He said, "I feel like you've invested more in our friendship than I have and it makes me feel guilty so now that I need to change my life I've found it harder to tell you." I said, "Why can't I be a part of your new life? I have never held you back from anything that you have wanted to do." He said, "This conversation is a perfect example. I asked for space and you haven't respected that. You're not the only one I haven't seen for about a month." I said, "I just didn't understand. Out of all of my friends you are the only one who hasn't ever treated me this way before. Forget about dinner and the movie. I would hate to guilt you into spending time with me when you need space. I thought things were going better. You even said you would starte talking to me again this week so I thought that it was okay. But fine. You never have to see me again. Goodbye Kennedy. I love you. You were my best friend. I hope you figure everything out."

Now I feel like I might have over reacted, but I'm really hurt and it is too late to take it back now. I didn't want to make him come to the movie with me if it was just going to be weird the whole time. And I would probably just be crying since it would probably be the last time that I saw him. I really want him to go though, so now I wish I could take that back. I really hope that if I actually just give him the space that he says he needs that he will eventually come back to his senses and I will get my friend back. I am so sad though. Does it say something really bad about me if my best friends even stop talking to me? Kennedy and I have been friends forever. I don't know what I am going to do or why he is acting this way.

What do you guys think? Did I do the right thing? Is there any other better way for me to fix this without even knowing what's wrong? I feel like the more I tried to fix it, the worse I made it. Am I overreacting? Would you still have gone to the movie with him? I don't know what I am doing. One thing I have decided, I won't be making a friend calender for Christmas this year. I don't know that we are all still friends so what is the point?

Light Painting

This is a portrait I did in my Studio class of Matthew Warren. He is the amazing painter that I have told you guys about. Since the assignment was to do light painting, I thought that it might be cool to show the creative genius that comes from him and what he is able to create with his paintbrush. Matt is one of the best painters I have ever met. To see his work, go to www.mattwarrenart.com!

Colored Gels Studio Assignment

The hardest assignment for me so far this year in studio is this multicolored gel assignment. We had to have three different lights with different colored gels on each of them. All three colors had to show up in out final prints. I shot white roses on a white cloth. I had other flowers too in some of them. What do you guys think? Which one is your favorite?

30 Random Things About Me

1- I always mix up my house keys with my work keys. It usually takes me a minute to remember which one is which.

2- I can't eat food that I think is old. This usually tanslates into that I never eat leftovers. I don't like to eat the same thing twice in a row, so by the time I remember that I have leftovers, I think it is "old" whether it is or not, so I just throw it out.

3- I HATE having anything written/draw on my skin. I can't handle it. It is my biggest pet peeve. Don't draw on me! This becomes a problem when I use food coloring while cake decorating. If I dye my hands, I try to wash it off right away and if I can't, I try not to look at my hands so it won't drive me crazy.

4- When I am working and people are pounding on the glass, I always flash back to Free Willy and empathize with him. How annoying.

5- Stupid people drive me crazy. People that ask for everything instead of trying to figure things out for themselves first, or talk before they speak. Amazingly most of the most irritating people I have ever met have been at work. No I don't have a lid for you ice cream cone! And yes, there is only one scoop in a single scoop. JUST THINK ABOUT IT!!

6- I am usually reading at least two books at a time. I am almost always listening to a book on cd in my car, and I also read a book before I go to bed. I usually have one more in my car too to read while I wait in line at the bank, etc...

7- Buying movies makes me happy. If I have a really bad day, that is usually my cure all. I sometimes want to buy movies that I already own, and sometimes I have to talk myself out of buying a movie I hated if it has a really cool cover or if the trailer was really good.

8- I LOVE caffeine. I always try to give it up because I know it is bad for me, but I am a much more pleasant person when I drink caffeine. It is like asking a little kid to give up their bottle. It is my comfort. I can live without it, but I really don't like to.

9- I love spending money on other people. I am more likely to spend a big amount of money on someone else than on myself. $20 going to someone else is nothing, spending that much on myself is just wasteful.

10- I hate to go shopping. I think I got that from my mom, but I can't stand it. It takes too long and I can't afford half the things that I want. When I go shopping, I usually buy a ton of things so that I can put off going again for as long as possible.

11- I don't think that I will ever get married or have kids. I don't know why. It is just a feeling that I have always had. I can't see it ever happening.

12- I always feel like I luck into a good picture. Even though I am going to school for photography, I feel that when I have actually taken a good picture it was by accident and that someone is going to realize I am just faking it. That is part of the reason I get SO nervous before my photo shoots.

13- Besides the plot and acting in a movie, one of the first things I notice is the music. It can make or break a movie for me. I love listening to movie soundtracks and I can almost always p[ick out my favorite composers even if I don't know what movie the music is from.

14- I take a lot of things personally that I shouldn't. When people quit at work, I take it personally. If I invite people to parties, etc... and they don't show up, I take that personally. And when people back out at the last minute it really, really makes me angry even if I say it is okay.

15- Ever since I was falsely accused of liking a friend's husband, I try not to talk to my friend's boyfriends/ husbands much. Even if they are just trying to be polite, I usually brush them off so there can be no further misunderstandings.

16- I want to write a book. If I ever have time, I have a great idea. I can see how the whole thing should be played out and have the soundtrack ready to go if I can ever find the time and the write words to tell the story I want. If I ever did publish a book though, I wouldn't use my real name.

17- I like paying bills. I hate spending the money on them, but I always find it very satisfying that I live on my own and can pay off all of my bills. I love feeling that independent and knowing I don't have to count on anyone else to be okay.

18- My family is extremely close. We get together as often as we can. Birthdays are a big deal and we celebrate all together for everyone in the family. Parents, children, in-laws, the babies and all major holidays. We all blog to keep in closer contact when we are too busy to get together. Some people think it is weird, but I love that my family is so close. I love my nieces and nephew. They are some of the smartest kids I know. I love spending time with them and seeing how fast they change.

19- Text Twist is the most addicting game for me. If my sister has it up, I can play it forever. When I have to stop, while I am driving and reading road signs, I twist the words to see what other ones I can make out of it.

20- I hate talking about politics or religion because I feel like everyone already has their own ideas about what is right and wrong. I have never met anyone that can be talked out of their beliefs, so why bring up something that we are just going to fight about? I'm not going to try and change you, so please don't try to change me. We can agree to disagree and still be friends anyway.

21- I think that dreams hold meaning. There have been several times when I figure things out in my dreams that I have been working on, or have notions of things that I wouldn't know otherwise. I remember a lot of what I hear while I sleep too. Such as, if I am listening to a book on tape, I still pick up on a lot of what was going on even though I was sleeping.

22- I am scared of spiders. I don't even like touching fake ones just in case...

23- I am a big baby. If I get hurt, I like to show everyone so they can sympathize. I get scared really easily. I don't like watching scary movies because of that. However, I love reading murder mystery books. Sometimes they scare me so bad I can't sleep, but I love trying to figure out who did it. Either by good writing, or good filming, I can usually figure it out even when there aren't very many clues.

24- I am naturally really curious. I want to know why people do what they do, what they are thinking, who is calling, everything... I just like knowing things. That is why I know a lot about the registers at work too. I am curious to see how it works, so if I have time, I try and figure things out.

25- I don't keep a diary. When I was in 4th grade a friend stole mine, so I don't write down anything that I wouldn't want people to know. My blog is as close to a diary/journal as I have.

26- If I start watching a movie, I have to finish watching it. Even if it scares me to death, I will keep thinking about it until I know how it resolves. There are a few from my childhood that someone else turned off because it was too scary, and I still think about them sometimes. I don't believe in ghosts or anything supernatural, but psychotic murderers REALLY scare me!

27- I have to get A's in my classes! In the few times I haven't, it really upsets me. I do the best possible job I can, so if I don't get an A, I don't think that I was graded fairly.

28- I have to have my cell phone on me or it drives me crazy! If I accidently leave it home, there have been occasions when I ask other people to bring it to me because I feel like I need it. Even if I don't use it all day, and no one calls me, I like to have it. Except I hate it when people bug me while I am at school.

29- When I read, or listen to music, I visualize things. If it is music, I think up dances that I think would go with it. If it is a book or something, somewhere between actually reading the words, I just see the story play out.

30- I am a problem solver. If something is wrong, I do everything I can to try and fix it, even if it is not my problem. I visualize different solutions in my head to see how they will play out and run different scenarios to see what the best possible solution can be. I am also a people pleaser. I hate it whenever I think that someone is mad at me and do whatever I can to try and fix it.

Your turn! Write 15-20 random things about you that maybe other people wouldn't know about you!

Photographic Timeline

Photographic Timeline


The Daguerreotype:

The invention of photography is credited to a man named Louis Daguerre. He took a polished copper plate coated with silver and exposed it to iodine. He then used mercury films to produce and image then washed the image with table salt to stop the plate from staying light sensitive, fixing the plate. It was then washed in water to remove excess chemicals. Exposure times were about 4-5 minutes. Daguerre announced this invention to the world in 1839 and it was very popular until the invention of the wet plate in 1851. Daguerreotypes were a one time image. They coulnd't be reproduced, so any that are left today are the originals taken back then.

The Calotype:

The Calotype was created by a man named Henry Fox Talbot around the same time as the Daguerreotype. Talbot used paper that was soaked with a solution of silver nitrate, let it dry, and then the exposed paper would reacted with sodium chloride producing an image. This created paper negatives that could be reproduced, but since they were made of paper, they were out of focus and imperfect from the grains in the paper. Talbot produced a book called the Pencil of Nature in 1841 with the details of his process. Though not as popular as the Daguerreotype, people used this process until the invention of the wet plate.


Wet Plate Photography:


Wet plate photography was created by Fredrick Scott Archer in 1851. Solving both the problems of the unreproducable Daguerreotype and the softness of the Calotype, once the wet plate process started, it took over as the major form of photography. The process was to take a glass plate and pour iodine/bromide onto the glass. You had to make sure the solution was smooth and pour off any excess. Then the plate had to sit for 3 to 5 minutes to become sensitized. Once that happened, you were able to take the picture. Exposure times ranged between less than a second up to a couple of minutes. Once the plate has been exposed, you had to develop it before the chemicals dried up. The plate needed to be developed with ferrous sulfate and then fixed with cyanide. Once the plate was washed in fresh water, you had a sharp negative image that could be reproduced. The problems were that the glass negatives were extremely fragile and you had to carry your darkroom with you in order to develop your prints right away. Wet plate photography was used until it was replaced by dry plate photography in 1871.

The Ambrotype:



The Ambrotype was created by James Ambrose Cutting in 1854. This process was similar to the wet plate process. It was a glass plate covered in collodian then dipped in silver nitrate solutions. The back was painted black on one side to create the illusion that the image was a positive. This process wasn't as popular as the tintypes.

The Tintype:

The Tintype was created in 1853 by Adolphe-alexandre Martin, but was patented by Hamilton Smith. Even though the process was called a "tintype" no tin was actually involved. It was black-enameled iron which was more durable than the glass of the other wet plate processes. The process also appears positive against the black background even though the plate is actually a negative image. These dried faster and didn't break as easily, so these were vastly popular until the creation of the dry plate process in 1871.

The Dry Plate:

The Dry Plate process was created by Dr. Richard Lee Maddox in 1871, although it was perfected by other people. He used gelatin that had been exposed to heat to make it very light-sensitive and more resisitant to friction. George Eastman later developed a machine to coat the plates. Dry Plate photography took over wet plate photography because you didn't have to take your darkroom with you or develop your film right away. It was popular until the invention of the Brownie camera, and the creation of paper-based film in 1900.

Paper Based Film:

Paper based film was created by Peter Houston in 1900, but he sold the invention to George Eastman. Eastman created the Brownie camera. "You push the button, we do the rest!" All people has to do was get a brownie camera, take pictures and sent back to George Eastman (the creator of Kodak) to have their film processed. This made photography common for everyone. Photography exploded since it was easily accessible to anyone that wanted to take pictures. Paper based film didn't last long, however. George Eastman kept creating better ways to make the Brownie camera better. He did that with film on cellulose instead of the paper film in the original Brownie.

Film on cellulose:

George Eastman created film on cellulose in 1909. He used it in his later Brownie models to make them better. Film on cellulose is still available today, although there are many other forms of film that came from the creation of this one. Film was very widely used until the creation of digital photography. Even though some people still use it, it is sadly becoming a dying art form.

Studio Liquids

More Studio Pictures!

I love Studio!! Here is my latest work! What do you think?

Thanks Eddy!!

For at least the last few months, my car has been acting up. My car likes to jerk while I am idoling at stop lights. The first time it happened, I thought that someone had lightly run into me. I didn't know what else would cause my whole car to jerk like that. Eventually it started becoming more frequent. I would joke that my car had a heartbeat. The car would jerk and the RPM's would drop. Eventually I also started noticing it while I was driving too. If I was trying to make a left hand turn, sometimes my car would dedcide to go very slowly instead. That always scared the shit out of me. Or, on the freeway, I could feel when it would stop working as well or especially when I would excelerate up hill or on the on ramps to the freeway.

Anyways, after the "check engine" light came on, I finally swallowed my pride and asked Eddy what he thought the problem was and if he could help me. He went to Auto Zone and just had me buy all the parts. He did all the labor for me for free. He risked getting in trouble at work too since he needed to do some of the things there even though he is not supposed to. My car is now driving excellent! I don't feel any of those problems anymore, and my tires are nice and balanced, etc... I love it! I tried to pay Eddy for doing it, but he wouldn't take my money, so THANK YOU EDDY!

Film Rocks!

After months of not using my film camera, we got an assignment in my Alternative class with the option to shoot infrared film. I ordered some on line at www.freestylephoto.biz and I got it a day and a half later!! Anyways, I got out my dusty film camera and used it for this assignment. Part two of the same assignment is to use the same infrared filters on your digital camera and change a picture using photoshop. My digital camera couldn't handle it. My film camera rocked it! Only 2 or 3 pictures didn't turn out in my roll of 36. Film is awesome!!

Financial Aid

This fall, in order to go back to school full-time, I decided to try and get some finiancial aid. It has been a pain in the ass the whole time! First off, I went to fafsa.com first to file all the information. With mom's help. I took the 30-45 minutes to get it all filled out to find that they wanted to charge me $80 to file with them. I had always heard that FAFSA was free, so I was really upset. I was trying to figure out whether or not to do it. $80 is a lot of money when you already don't have any, hence the reason why I would be asking them for money. Plus, they never asked me if I was a dependent or not and had me give them all of mom's information too, so I didn't think that they would even help me. I decided not to pay them and figure something else out. Talking to Natalie later, we figured out that I went to the wrong site. You have to go to fafsa.ed.gov to file for free. So, mom and I went through the whole process again! (I need to mentino here too that mom was SICK both times and took the time to help me anyways! You rock mom!)

Anyways, so I finally got that mess all figured out. I didn't think that I would really recieve any financial aid. They needed my income, plus mom's and since I am not over 25 and I am not emancipated, I still count as a dependent even though I pay for everything myself. Anyways, a couple of weeks later, I found out that I did qualify for a student loan. I had a lot more forms to fill out and fax back to the school, promisary notes to sign, and loan guidance counceling needed, but I FINALLY got everything figure out for them to release the money to me.

In the middle of all the forms, etc... I noticed that when I signed into my account at school, my address had changed from mom's house to some random address in Bountiful. I called the school and asked if I could change it so that my student loan wouldn't be sent to the wrong place. They said that they don't allow students to change their addresses over the phone anymore because I could be anyone. They said that they got the change of address from the post office but I could change it again online. So, I went online and changed it, but it takes 2-3 business days to process. A few days later I check again, and my address is still wrong, but they added the Apt 8C to the end of the wrong address... So, I try to change it again online, but I got an e-mail from the school saying that they were going to release my loan to me, but by the time I got that e-mail, the finiancial aid office was closed for the day and for the rest of the weekend.

First thing Monday morning, I went in to change the address in person, or give them my information for a direct deposit. When I get to the cashier's office to change my address, she tells me that it is too late. My loan was sent off on Friday. I tell her how someone else changed my address to be the wrong address, I have no idea who lives there, and that I have tried to change it online twice and by phone. She told me that I should have come in sooner and that it is company police that they can't put a stop on my check until 2 weeks have passed to see if it is returned. I am ready to cry at this point. It has been so hard and I have done everything I can to try and make sure that I can get my loan. I asked her when I could come back to see if my loan had been returned and then I left.

Next I called the post office. I told the guy who answered my story and asked him if there was anything he could do. He looked it up and said that the only change of address they have on record for me is the one from 856 E. Mill St to mom's current address. I told him my name and real address and the address that was sent out on my loan and asked him if he could hold it for me if they found it. I told him I have a million forms of ID so they would know it was me. He said he would call me.

I called the school back next to try and find out why my address was changed since the post office didn't do it. They still say it came from the post office. Basically, they all know that they are wrong but won't admit that the mistake was made on their end.

However, this last Friday, I FINALLY got my loan check in the mail. It had the wrong address on it, but someone had circled off to the side hwy 89 and NSL to the mistakes in the address. I am assuming that it was someone at the post office that got it because I don't think it had enough time to go back to the school and sent out again, but THANK YOU WHOEVER GOT MY LOAN TO ME! I really, really need that money for school and it has been such a hassle that it is such a relief to me that I finally got it.

Studio Photography

My favorite class this semester is my Studio Photography class. I am learning a lot, but it is also just a lot of fun. Here is what I have been working on, although it uploaded in the reverse order:


Assignment #4- Movie Night! Here is what a movie night looks like with me! Fun huh?! I turn this one in tomorrow! We had to photograph at least 5 things that all tied in together for 'Still Life #2'.

Assignment #3- Musical Instruments. We had to photograph 3 objects under the studio lights for our first 'Still Life' assignment. This is what I came up with.



Assignment #2- Treasure Chest. We had to bring in a cube to be photographed. We had to get all three sides a different light value and make sure that all the different sides were defined. I brought in a book, but I didn't really like how it was turning out, so someone in my class offered to let me use this treasure chest. I really like how it turned out. Plus, I had 4 people in my clProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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s say that this was their favorite picture for the week. :)


Assignment #1- Red Ball. Pretty straight forward. We had to take pictures of balls under different lighting. This one turned out nice. My teacher liked this one too. He said most people got 7's on this assignment, but I got an 8. :)

Hooray for Studio! I love it!

Don't mess with me!

On Friday I was scheduled to work from 12 to 10:30. At about 7 pm, the power went out. I called Rocky Mountain Power and the scheduled time to get it back on was 3 am. I called Justin and he told me to have everyone close the store, do everything that we would normally do and stock everything, but then we had to wait until 10 pm to see if the power was going to come back on. So, a little after 8 we have everything done that we need to, and we are just sitting on the counter talking. (We being me, Todd and Kylie.) Anyways, so this guy comes up to the window, and it looks like he is going to knock on the window because he is DIRECTLY acrossed from where I am sitting. However, he actually starts doing this:

I yell, "You have got to be kidding me!" jump down off of the counter, unlock the door and start yelling at the guy spray painting my window. He takes off running, so I start chasing him. About halfway down the block, the thought crosses my mind "What am I going to do if I catch him?" Would I tackle him, punch him? Would he have a knife or a gun? So, deciding that this is a bad idea, I run back to the store and call the police. When I get back, I notice that there is this on the side of the building too.

I had noticed two guys running, but they never said a word, so I wasn't sure if they were together. I only really saw the one. He was probably my height, with a dark long ponytail. I don't think that he was white either. I think he was probably Mexican or Asian. He was wearing all black and it was really dark, so that is the best description that I have. Anyways, the police came and took pictures. They will do a comparison if they ever catch someone doing this same tag on another building. After that, we had to use a razor blade to scrape off the spray paint on the glass and we will have to repaint this side of this wall. Stupid jerk. Although, everyone later has told me all of the things that I should have done, so I will be better prepared for if it ever happens again. The thing that surprised me later, was the fact that I decided to chase after this guy. Don't mess with me! :)

The Countdown continues...

So, here is a little update after my breakdown... I am still waiting for my financial aid to be able to pay for school, but in the meantime, my mom put it on her credit card. I don't know if it was because I was feeling guilty about that, really stressed or just because I was so grateful to have her help, but that night I had a dream that she died. In my dream, Allie had said that she had seen all the signs that it was coming, but she hadn't said anything because she didn't want to take away mom's hope that she would live. So, just like that, mom was gone. I can't even describe how sad that made me. I couldn't believe that I didn't have a chance to say goodbye. Even after I woke up, I knew it was a dream but I called mom anyway. When she got on the line, I just started crying. I was relieved that she was okay, but I just couldn't shake how sad the dream made me. When mom said, "You are so sweet. It is good to know you would miss me when I'm gone." I started crying again. Mom, I can't even tell you how much I love you and how much it means to me that you are in my life. Thank you for everything you do to help me out, even if that is just letting me vent to you about the things in my life that aren't going so well. I love spending time with you, from watching Bones or going to the Shakespearean Festival together, or talking about the similar books that we are reading and love, it means a lot to me that you are there. When I'm having a bad day, I feel like a kid. My first comfort is a caffeinated drink and then calling you to tell you about it. It's like a kid, wanting a bottle, and for mom to kiss it all better. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything that you are to me. I appreciate it more than I could ever put into words. I LOVE YOU!!

Okay, so back to school. My classes have been really hard. My favorite one is probably my Studio class. I love learning about all the different lighting techniques and I'm doing pretty well in there. My next favorite would be my Alternative class. I can't help but thing about Allie's Amanda when in that class. We learn about all the artistic alternative ways to photography. Right now we are learning about pinhole cameras. The exposure time is guesswork, and the images can turn out really interesting, imperfect images that I know Amanda would love. She has mentioned that we are going to be making our own paper, and we will need Holga cameras, etc... It is interesting and a lot different than the perfection required in my other classes. Amanda, if you are interested, I'll let you know what the assignments are if you want to play along with me. :) For example, we had to research pinhole pictures and find an artist we liked that took pinhole images. I found a girl that travels around and does wedding and portrait photography through pinhole cameras! Recently, she just sold everything she owned to move to South Korea to teach English. Her name is Sheila Bocchine. Her blog is http://sheilabocchine.com/blog for any of you interested in seeing her work. Anyways, my next class is probably History of Photography. It is interesting, and not too hard so far. Last though, is my Design class. I have never been able to draw very well, and this class is all about designing things by sketching it out, etc... We had to go buy $200 worth of art supplies just for this class! We have to read a chapter a week, while filling out packets to go with the chapters, while working on our projects! It is so much work! I have been doing my homework for this class in my breaks between classes, or my breaks between doubles at work. I barely had enough time to finish my assignment before class, literally the glue was probably still drying. Anyways, my teacher comes to class ready to do critiques on our work, but half of the class said the mixed up the deadline or that they didn't have enough time to finish so she gave them all more time!! I was so mad! I worked three doubles all over the long weekend and I still made the sacrifices to have my work ready on time! At least I got extra credit for being ready, but I was really annoyed that she just gave everyone more time. If she could tell that she had given us too much to do, and that the class was trying but struggling to keep up, than I would have been fine to have her give us more time. But for them to just show up unprepared and get away with it really made me mad! My Studio class happened after that, and at the first of class we started our critiques. I told my teacher about what had happened in Design and how we never would have been able to get away with that in my photography classes...

Anyways, I feel like things are coming along. I feel like I am getting a handle on work and school and finding the time to do my homework in between. The only problem came from after working my three doubles over labor day weekend. Monday morning came along, and I was so exhausted that I completely slept through both of my alarm clocks. The problem with this is that I am supposed to babysit Karen's son Will in the mornings and take him to school. She called me arpouind 8 asking if I was planning on coming. I said I was so sorry, I had slept in and hadn't left yet, but I would leave right now. She told me she would just have a neighbor do it because she didn't want him to be late for school. I drove out there anyways to make sure that if a neighbor couldn't get him, I would still be there as soon as I could to get him there. I also did it to time how long it would take me since I hit the construction on I-15 and I-80 during rush hour traffic. When I go there, Will was already gone, but I left him a note telling him that I was really sorry. Then I called Karen and told her I was so sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. I told her how I had driven out there anyway to make sure that he got there as soon as possible, but she must have already gotten it taken care of. I felt so bad! While I was in the shower she called me and left me a message saying that she is in the middle of a court case, so everything we do is being judged. She said that the school will have records of the days that he is late and that he is really embarrassed when I get him there late. She said that if I couldn't be there by 7:45 then she would get someone who would. The message made me cry. Anyone who knows me, knows that I wouldn't have done this on purpose and she made it sound like I did and that I do that all the time! I realize that I was in the wrong and that it is my job to take him to school, but for her to chew me out some more when I had already apologized and was already beating myself up about it made me feel even worse. I almost called her back again to say "Fine, find someone else then!" I plan my whole school schedule around being able to take Will to school in the mornings, and I really do try my best. Karen has always been so nice to me in the past and made me feel like part of the family, but with one phone message she turned me from family into just an expendable employee. Since she goes into Baskin Robbins all the time, I went in and bought her Cappuccino Blast for her from Cherri. Cherri told her when she came in that I had already paid for it, that I was really sorry and that she could tell that I had been crying. I still haven't heard from Karen though, and that was over two days ago. I think I will see how it goes, but this might be the last year that I work for her. I don't appreciate how she talked to me.

So, since then I have been getting up early to take Will to school, been getting to my classes on time, and have been working enough to pay the bills, and keeping my goal of going to the gym 5 times a week. It's a nice juggling act, but I'll find a way to make it all work.

16 Weeks

Sometimes I feel so small, like the world is so huge and unless I struggle on, I will get swept away in the rush of things. I am completely overwhelmed with all of the work, school, homework and money issues in my life right now. I am scared that it is all too much for me and I have no idea how I will get through it all. I don't remember how I balanced everything before, when I worked full-time and part-time while going to school full-time. When did I find the time to sleep? When did I ever see my family and friends? When did I find time to do my homework?

I am going to school full-time again, and even after the first two days, I already feel completely overwhelmed. They want more money than I have, and since I have to take time off of work to go to school, I can't work to get more money that they school wants. And they just keep adding things on for me to pay for. It isn't enough to have to pay tuition, they want lab fees, and textbook fees, parking pass fees, and supply lists that cost hundreds more dollars. While they are adding in all of these fees, and giving me all this homework, I wonder which priorities come first? Do I do my homework so that all this money isn't going to waste on my education, or do I pick up a few more hours so that I can provide the roof over my head, my food that I eat or the gas money that it takes to get to school or work... Do I just let myself sleep so that I might feel less stressed later, or do I continue with my goals of going to the gym? When do I see my family and spend time with my friends? Which of these things are for me and will make me happy? Am I drowning yet?

So, I'll struggle on because in the end it is all for me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? I'll try to find that fragile balance, knowing that I work so that I can support myself, and I go to school so that one day I can do what I love. In the end, this semester of school is 16 weeks. That is only 32 days of each of my classes. I can hang on for 16 weeks. Hopefully. I already called mom after my first two classes almost ready to cry and asking if it was okay if I just dropped out. They expect so much and I don't know if I have it in me.

Paid jobs #2 and #3!!

Within the last two weeks of summer, right as I am gearing up to go back to school, I got two different paying portrait photo shoots. It was actually great timing for me since I had to pay just under $600 to get my car fixed, then the $110 to get it re-registered, and then I had to pay another $70 to replace my battery!! Not to mention that my tuition is $1460 and my books today were $320 plus the $30 parking pass.... Anyway, off on a tangent. Back to my second and third paid photography jobs!!

So, first was my friend Liz. I know her through my friend Torrie. Liz wanted some pictures to put into a portfolio and just wanted some of herself in general. She said that the only one in their group of friends to take pictures was Torrie, and since Torrie is on a mission, Liz didn't have any recent pictures of herself. Solution? PAY ME TO DO IT!! :) Here is how my favorites turned out:










Then, my third paid job was for Missy Bennet's younger sister Kristin. Missy's wedding was my first paid job and her younger sister liked my work so much from that, that when she got accepted into the Miss Teen Nationals Pageant, she asked me to do her head shot for her. Here are my favorites from that:

I think they all turned out pretty well! What do you guys thinik? Any favorites? I'm starting school on Wednesday though, so I can learn even more about what I am doing. :)