What to say?

My friend Liz, lost her mom this morning to cancer. One of the first things that came to mind was this clip from Good Will Hunting, when he says, "You're an orphan, right? Do you think I know the first thing about that because I've read Oliver Twist?" I have no idea what to say to my friend because I really don't think I can really grasp the concept of that type of pain, having never experienced it myself. (And not wanting to ever!)




Liz is my second friend to lose a parent while we have been friends. The other was Natalie when she lost her dad. Both times, once I found out, I started crying. I personally didn't know either parent, but a loss that huge to someone I care about just hurts. My other friend Valor is the one that told me in this case, and I felt bad that I didn't know sooner. That something like that can go unnoticed. I felt like I should take a moment to acknowledge her pain and try to put into words how I was feeling.


The next line that came to mind was from V for Vendetta, "even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you." I thought of that line because even though I never met Liz's mom, I feel like I know her from Liz. She talks about her mom's strength even through her fight with cancer, and all of the lessons she has learned from her mom. I think Liz's mom would be incredibly proud of Liz for how she is handling all of this and the type of person she has become. Liz took over guardianship of her younger sister since she was a minor. (Here are some pictures I've taken of Liz with some of her sisters.)

So, to my friend Liz, I hope you know how much I love you and I am always here for you if you need me. I wish I knew better what to say to you, but I hope that helps in some small way.

Kitty on the Move!

I know I go long amounts of time without posting anything new about myself, and I am sorry about that. I just get so busy that I don't always have time to keep up with my blog. However, I am now working both jobs again and I am currently having an incredibly slow day at the school, so I have some time to update everyone on what has been going on with me.

First of all, life as the manager at Baskin Robbins is hard sometimes, but completely rewarding. My store is kicking some serious butt. I don't think I am actually supposed to show the numbers that my boss gives me, but I did show them to my mom, and they are a pretty clear indication that once I took over, the store started to actually make some money, and is just getting better! I have really put a lot of time and effort into making things run better and I love seeing proof that all of my hard work isn't being wasted. Overall, I really love my job. Sometimes I love my employees, and sometimes I want to smack more sense into them. But, really, all and all, I am loving the challenge of managing and I am really enjoying my job.

As everyone knows, two years ago I moved in with mom before my surgery. It was a strategic move that would help benefit both of us. After mom moved to Alaska, I stayed in the condo because she could only rent it to family. Kjersti, Jay, Kameryn and Reagan moved in with me shortly after and even though it was crowded, we have been making it work. I love my family and enjoy spending time with them when I am home. First with my mom, and now with Kjersti and her family. However, I have never forgotten how much I truly loved having my own place. So... Kitty is on the move!!!

I started looking for a place about two months ago. I did a lot of apartment hunting online, comparing prices, amenities, drive time from work, etc... when I found the absolute PERFECT place for me!! It was a place that was still under construction, so the move in time would work out perfectly for what Kjersti and I had discussed. (Kjersti and Jay have let me live with them the last two months rent free, so I wanted to make sure I didn't overstay my welcome.) It was close to work, less than a 10 minute commute to get to Baskin. Okay, who am I kidding, I saw that this apartment had a walk-in closet and I was pretty much sold. I have always had a problem keeping my room clean because I have SO MANY CLOTHES! And my recent shopping addiction really hasn't helped. So once I read walk-in closet, I really, really wanted it. It also has a pool, hot tub, 24-hour gym, granite counter tops, washer and dryer included and it is brand new. Oh yeah, one other major key selling point to me was that it is right next to the new movie theater! Walk-in closet and a movie theater. :) Yep, this was the place for me.

So, as I mentioned, it is still under construction. So when I went to go check it out, I had to wear a hard hat and to look at the space rather than what the actual apartment looks like right now. On Facebook, the manager has been adding pictures of the construction to keep everyone posted on the progress. So, in a way, I have been able to see my little apartment be made every step of the way. 

My new manager is also really nice. Her name happens to be Chelsea. When I was emailing places about apartments, she was really quick to respond and answered every email I sent her. We talked a lot back and forth before I set up a time to go look at my apartment. After being screwed by the contract at Gold's Gym, I really wanted to know every detail about what I was getting myself into before I agreed to do anything. I really feel like this is going to work out for me though. 

Another thing that I just really like about my new apartment, is that I kind of feel like this is one of the biggest decisions I have made on my own. For example, the first place I lived alone was a place that Danae and Kjersti had both lived in before I did. Then I moved in with my mom. My first car was my sister Danae's. Then I got Allison's. Now I'm driving Mom's. So, this is one of the first really big things that I decided just for me that hasn't already worked for someone in my family. I'm trying it out all on my own and I really hope that it is as good as I have built it up to be in my head. 

I move in July 1st, which will be exactly two years since I moved out of Pebble Creek. Everyone wish me luck! I am so excited!

(The pictures of me were taken by my friend Kristen with my camera. I was taking pictures of her, and sometimes we would switch so that I could get a couple of me too. The only exception is the one of me on the bridge. That was taken by my friend Torrie on a photo walk we took together on a weekend trip I took up to Logan.) 

Sophie Almost Walking... Kind of

Here is a video I took over at Danae's house of the Little Miss almost walking. She was not in the mood to perform for us that day, but I think the video is pretty funny anyways. :)

Are You KIDDING ME?!?

I came home from work around 11 pm and I hear a sound coming from our bathroom. I open the door and find water just running everywhere! I look up and I see this hole in the ceiling that is just gushing water! Normally I also have a shampoo rack that also hangs from the shower head, but the water was so powerful that it knocked the whole thing off. My razors are broken, the shower rack is on the flooding floor and there is water EVERYWHERE, not to mention the crap in the tub from the ceiling.

I go upstairs to ask them to turn off the water and the lady upstairs says she has a plumber working on the problem. I said, "There is water all over my bathroom." She says, "Well in your tub, right?" WHAT?! Well, yes... but that is not the point. It is also all over EVERYTHING else and there is a hole in my ceiling. I didn't say half of that, but the plumber comes down to look. He says that the tub upstairs was having problem draining so he snaked the drain...

Anyways, long story short, he is coming back in the morning to cut out part of the ceiling to see what the problem is. I wouldn't let him do it right then since Kjersti, Jay, Kameryn and Reagan were all sleeping. Hopefully he will be more competent in the morning.

Sorry to my mom, whom I called frantically trying to figure out what to do and made her feel helpless since she is, of course, living in Alaska...

Alyssa

This is my friend and employee, Alyssa. We did this shoot together today so I can practice using my studio lighting again. Isn't she beautiful?!?

And the Nominations Are...

Best Picture:

-The Artist
-The Descendants
-Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
-The Help
-Hugo
-Midnight in Paris
-Moneyball
-The Tree of Life
-War Horse

Best Actor

-Demián Bichir
A Better Life

-George Clooney
THe DeSCeNDANTS

-Jean Dujardin
THe ARTiST

-Gary Oldman
TiNKeR TAiLoR SoLDieR SPy

-Brad Pitt
Moneyball

Best Actress

-Glenn Close
ALBeRT NoBBS

-Viola Davis
THe HeLP

-Rooney Mara
THe GiRL WiTH THe DRAGoN TATToo

-Meryl Streep
THe iRoN LADy

-Michelle Williams
My WeeK WiTH MARiLyN

Best Supporting Actor:

-Kenneth branagh
My WeeK WiTH MARiLyN

-Jonah hill
MoNeyBALL

-Nick Nolte
WARRioR

-Christopher Plummer
BeGiNNeRS

-Max von Sydow
exTReMeLy LouD & iNCReDiBLy CLoSe

Best Supporting Actress:

-Bérénice Bejo
THe ARTiST

-Jessica Chastain
THe HeLP

-Melissa Mccarthy
BRiDeSMAiDS

-Janet mcTeer
ALBeRT NoBBS

-Octavia Spencer
THe HeLP

Best Director
-The ArTisT
Michel Hazanavicius

-The DescenDAnTs
Alexander Payne

-Hugo
Martin Scorsese

-Midnight in Paris
Woody Allen

-The Tree of life
Terrence Malick

(Sorry about all of the weird capitals in random places. The website I copied it from is doing weird things with it, and I got sick of fixing all of them. I figured you got the idea anyways...)

Snow Storm Today

Here is a video of 4th North during the snow storm today! CRAZY!

The Gay Rights Movement

Because I think this is important to pass along:



(Allie, Steve might cry....)

2011 to 2012

I know that it is already January 15th, so this is a little late coming, but I have just been busy. Every year I make a list of the new movies I have seen and the books that I have read for the year. Here are my lists:

New Movies in 2011:

-No Strings Attached
-Winter's Bone
-The Kids Are All Right
-How to Train Your Dragon
-True Grit
-Gnomeo & Juliet
-The Last Airbender
-The King's Speech
-Black Swan
-The Fighter
-Burlesque
-The Next Three Days
-How Do You Know
-The Tourist
-I am Number Four
-Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides
-Rio
-Blue Valentine
-X-Men: First Class
-Green Lantern
-Transformers 3
-Beastly
-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
-The Lincoln Lawyer
-Just Go With It
-Captain America: The First Avenger
-Red Riding Hood
-Bad Teacher
-Bridesmaids
-Horrible Bosses
-Friends With Benefits
-Crazy Stupid Love
-The Help
-Something Borrowed
-The Town
-Your Highness
-Real Steel
-Footloose
-Breaking Dawn: Part 1
-Larry Crowne

Books read in 2011:

-Spider Bones by Kathy Reichs
-Shopaholic & Sister by Sophie Kinsella
-Shopaholic & Baby by Sophie Kinsella
-Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
-Mini Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
-Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire by J.K. Rowling
-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
-Matched by Allie Condie
-Shalador's Lady by Anne Bishop
-Buried Prey by John Sandford
-The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger
-Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
-Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella
-The Law of Nines by Terry Goodkind
-Can You Keep A Secret? by Sophie Kinsella
-The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
-Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
-V is for Vengeance by Sue Grafton
-A Stolen Life by Jaycee Dugard
-Shock Wave by John Sandford

Sadly, my list of books this year I feel is considerably smaller, although I haven't actually counted to check. I used to listen to books on CD while I would drive. And even though I still do that, since my commute to work is now about 5 minutes, I don't usually listen to books on CD while I drive anymore. So, most of these I actually read, with the book in hand, or on my kindle that my awesome Alaskan family got me for my birthday.

So, that also leads up to another huge change for me this year, I got PROMOTED and am FINALLY managing my own Baskin Robbins!! I have worked at Baskin Robbins for 9 and a half years now! I know that is a long time, and sometimes I feel like it really should be time to move on, especially since I am not doing anything with my degree. However, I am LOVING the challenge of managing this store. Without trying to sound too conceded, I really am doing an awesome job of it. When I first took over the store, the store was making negative numbers, meaning that my boss was spending money that he was making at his other stores to help keep this one open. He has been doing that for three years now and out of his six stores, my store was the second worst. I took over managing in April, and by June I turned that around. My store is now making money for the first time in 3 years! So, I think I am pretty cool and doing a great job!

This year was also a year of traveling for me. I was lucky enough to take a week vacation up to Seattle and Portland that I just loved! It was so much fun! I loved seeing the places, visiting people (including my awesome Sis, Elisabeth!) and traveling with my friend Jennifer. This year I was also lucky enough to go down to the Shakespearean Festival twice with my family, and take a trip to Moab with a lot of my Photo friends. I want to spend another post on this to give the trip justice, but I also got to fly up to Alaska to surprise my brother and see him in his play of Les Mis! The entire cast helped fly me up there to see his performance, because if I hadn't donated my kidney to him last year, he wouldn't have been able to do that play this year. not only was he in it, he was the lead! So cool! I loved spending time with my family there and getting to see Kodiak! Like I said, I'll post pictures and go into more detail later on.

My third niece, Sophie, was born this year! She is a total doll and I am loving getting to know her! One really interesting and cute thing to me about Sophie is that she growls at people to show them that she loves them! I have no idea where she got that, but I think it is so cute and unique to her personality.

This past year I have also been able to spend a lot of time with my mom. With our schedules being so different, most of the week we were passing ships, but after I got her addicted to Grey's Anatomy, we spent most of every weekend together, eating potatoes and onions and watching Grey's Anatomy. It really was a lot of fun. Even though she technically moved in January, it has been a big adjustment for me to not have her here with me anymore. I really miss her a lot, along with all of my family that has decided to pick up and move to Alaska. (Geoffrey moved there in February and Allison in July.) I love you guys all so much and I really really miss you. It has been a huge adjustment for me this year to have now HALF of the family up in Kodiak. It just isn't the same. Our family has always been really close, so it's weird to not see you guys nearly as often as I would like.

To end my post, I think I should post a couple of things that I would like for 2012:

1-I would like to reach my goal weight this year. I have been working hard to get there, and I think it is really a reasonable goal to try and hit it this year. I also am working on getting my body fat percentage lower, so I would like that to be in the high teens by the end of the year.

2-I want to get my spending more under control. With the recent development of my shopping addiction, I have a lot more on credit cards than I am comfortable with. Especially since I am also now paying off my student loans, etc... so I would like to get my money issues back under control.

3-I would like to continue traveling more. I especially would like to always make a trip out of the anniversary of giving my kidney. That was a huge deal for me, and I think it would be fun to honor it in that way.

4-I want to try and take more pictures this year. I have had a block about it this year. I am not entire sure where that comes from, but I really only took pictures this last year if people dragged it out of me. So, I want to do more personal shooting this year in the hope that I will start enjoying it again.

5-I would like to try and be more organized and clean up after myself better. I am great about it at work, so I am not sure why the same habits don't apply to where I am living... I have been working on a lot of things that make me feel better, such as losing weight, or going tanning, or just working out in general makes me feel better, eating better... so I think the next step for me is cleaning my room and staying more organized.

6-I really want to stay in better contact with people. I like spending time and knowing what is going on in people's lives. I miss my friends and family, so hopefully I can find more time to spend with everyone.

That is all of my resolutions for now, and I don't even really consider them resolutions. They are just goals for what I would want to do, and hopefully they can happen within the next year. Love you all, and here is 2012~

(The top picture taken of me was taken by my friend Meghann Larsen. I helped model for her for an assignment for her portrait class.)

Douglas Hansen

I received a letter from the U.S. Department of Justice informing me that Douglas Hansen, the man who robbed me, died while in federal custody on October 29, 2011. That was all the information they gave me. I have no idea what happened, just that he died.

I'm feeling a little guilty because I am relieved that he is dead. I in no way believe that he deserved a death sentence for robbing me, but they day after he robbed me, I was searching people's faces trying to find him. I have become much more jumpy. If I see someone in the corner of my eye that I didn't know was there, it makes me jump. When random guys come into the store, I am worried what they might do. For weeks after I got robbed, I kept the phone under the register so that if it happened again, I might be able to reach it to dial 911. And sometimes, at night, I dream that he comes back in. Sometimes, he doesn't know who I am, and just orders like a regular customer. Sometimes I relieve what happened and I try to somehow already have the phone under the register so that I can call for help.

The police told me that this guy has been in and out of prison all his life. He does something, so they put him in. Then he serves his time and gets out. Then he does something else, so they put him back in. Over and over and over. So, even though I know they caught him, I couldn't help thinking that maybe one day he would come back. Even though I am at another store now, I couldn't help wondering if he would remember that he got away the first time, so why not do it again? I kept thinking what would happen if he came in again.

A cop called me when they were determining his sentence. He wondered if there was anything I wanted the judge to know about how he had effected my life. He had listened to my 911 call and said that I had sounded really upset. Thinking back, I remember how I could barley stop crying to tell them what had happened and how I couldn't stop shaking. I remember the text message from my dad asking if the police knew who he needed to kill and how angry my brother Wesley got.

So, hearing the news that he is dead, is actually a really relieving thing for me. I feel a little bad about it, but maybe now somewhere in the back of my mind, I will stop stressing about it. Some people think I am crazy for being so effected by this. And I guess to some degree, I didn't even quite realize how much it bothered me before the threat was gone. It just seems like now that I don't have to worry about it, I really notice how much I was worried about it.

Sarah and Jerome

Weight Loss

Abut three years ago, I decided I really needed to lose some weight. I wasn't comfortable with how I looked, and it was actually pictures of me that helped me make the decision to do it. The worst of them have already been deleted, but to get an idea of how far I have come, here are some pictures of what I looked like back in 2008/2009.

My older sister, Allison, is a doctor and has always been really weight-conscious, so I asked her how much I was supposed to weigh. For someone my age and my height, she informed me that I was a little over 50 pounds overweight. She tried to help me by giving me a book with how many calories were in everything and telling me to try to eat around 1200 calories a day. That seemed like way too much work for me, and was frustrating and hard, so I started by getting a gym pass with my friend, Kennedy.

I started going to the gym between 3 to 5 times a week, mostly working out on the elliptical for about 30 minutes a day. A year later, I had lost 30 pounds, but I had plateaued. I felt better about myself, but I wasn't where I wanted to be yet. 30 is good, but I was supposed to lose 50. People kept telling me that I also needed to learn how to eat better, but I really thought I was eating pretty well. I hate hamburgers and hot dogs, so I mostly eat turkey sandwiches. Sandwiches are better for you than hamburgers, so I eat healthy, right?





About a year and a half ago, I got conned into getting a personal trainer. I love that I got one, and overall, I really don't regret it. I won't turn this post into a rant against Gold's Gym. I'm sure you all know the story anyways, but the point is I got a personal trainer. They told me that cardio (the type of workouts I had been doing for the last year) was only 10% of weight loss. In the back of my head though, I was thinking, "Well, I've already lost 30 pounds, so what do you know?" They said that 40% of weight loss was muscle building/weight training and that 50% is diet. I did a free consult training with Carlos (the manager that conned me) and I couldn't move for two days after, even though my workout was only 30 minutes long!

So, I still did some cardio workouts, but I had one session with my personal trainer once a week, and he wrote me other workouts to come in and do on my own. So I started alternating between muscle training and cardio. Preston, my personal trainer, also talked me into starting to keep a food journal. He didn't give me a calorie limit, he just wanted me to start realizing how many calories I took in. The other random fact that also really just helps me with my workouts is that my boss also goes to Gold's Gym and he works out at the same time I do. So, I feel like someone is keeping track of whether I go to the gym or not. If he doesn't see me, he will ask why I didn't go. It used to bug me, but now I like it. He also has been trying to give me eating tips for years now. My friend Jennifer was also trying to lose weight too. Her and Justin really were the ones that helped me switch up my diet. She told me that Justin had commented on the weight I had lost, and asked her if she thought I could keep it up, or if I was going to be one of those people that loses weight and then gains it all back. So, I just felt like I had something to prove to people that see me everyday. If that makes sense. It was a good push.

Anyways, I found my e-mail from Allison telling me I should try to be eating 1200 calories a day to try and lose weight. So, when I started writing down everything I was eating and finding out how many calories were in things, I really was shocked. Remember how good I'm eating because I just like turkey sandwiches? An Arby's Market Fresh sandwich has 800 calories in it! So I thought I was eating so healthy, when really if I eat that sandwich that takes up 2/3 of my calories for the day. My beloved Chai that I was drinking everyday, that I thought was healthy because I got it with soy milk instead of real milk, had 340 calories in it! That is enough for one of my entire meals! So, I still get these sometimes, but it was really good for me to start to realize how many calories were really in my "healthy" choices. So, to get going in the right direction, I just started with little changes. I always order my sandwiches on wheat bread now. I started leaving off cheese of my sandwiches. I don't even notice that it is gone anymore. It was a little easier for me too, because I normally go to Subway and they don't carry my favorite cheese anyway. (Swiss Cheese.)

So, a few months after working out with my personal trainer, and writing down everything I eat, I put everything on hold for a very important surgery. At the end of September, I gave Wesley a kidney. Apart from being really scared to be cut open, I was also really interested to see how my body would react to no longer having two kidneys.




The first really noticeable change for me was that my body no longer knew when it was hungry. I could tell when I was empty, but I didn't get hungry. I never knew what I wanted to eat, unless I smelled food. Then I would crave things that I smelled. I think there were two days I was going to school that I didn't eat once all day. It was only at the end of the day when I felt really empty and sick that I remembered that I hadn't eaten. MY calorie counting went completely out the window, along with my exercising. I figured my body would know better than me what it wanted, so I wanted to give it anything it wanted to recover from surgery. After doing that for about two months, and not really having any desire for food coming back, Justin suggested that instead of just eating anything, I start eating healthy things. I didn't know what I wanted anyways, and he said I should use that opportunity to train my body to want healthier food. I started eating Chicken Mango Salad for lunch (something Allie got me hooked on) and pasta shells in Organic Tomato Sauce. Bam! Lost ten pounds.

I feel really guilty whenever people ask what my secret to losing weight is. Honestly, even though I've been working on it for years, my secret is that I gave up a kidney and don't like food anymore.... It made changing my habits of what I ate a lot easier than other people that still actually crave food or chocolate or whatever. Another advantage I have is that my body really doesn't handle a lot of sugar very well. If I eat too much it wants back out pretty quick. (If you know what I mean.)

After being back from surgery for a month or so, I started trying to go back to the gym. (Since I was freaking paying for it anyway.) I did one of my workouts from my personal trainer and killed myself. It didn't really hurt when I was doing it, but I knew I had overdone it for days afterwards. I started going back to just doing the elliptical to still get my workouts in and I ran into Preston at the gym. He told me to work on my cardio, not do any weight training for a while, or if I did, start with my legs, not my abs. He said most people after surgery try to work that area but it needed time to heal, so just do cardio that I felt up for. This is when I started my Zumba class and started doing some Step Aerobics too. After six months of that, Preston told me to start personal training again. He said, "I'm not going to kill you." He has been great. He has know how to help me work on things without pushing me too hard, but pushing me enough to make some progress.

I should mention also that I weigh myself every day, first thing in the morning. It helps me know what progress I've made and hold myself more accountable for the things I ate the day before. If I gained weight, I try to be more aware of what I eat during the day. If I have lost weight, it makes me feel good. I usually lose some weight, then I plateau again. Usually during these times though, people comment on how much weight I've lost. That really confused me, until I realized I was losing inches. I recommend that everyone get their measurements too, that are trying to lose weight. I think it helps so you have another scale of telling how much progress you are making than just how much you weigh.

I am happy to report that I am now only 5 pounds away from my goal weight! Preston is helping me focus even more on my diet. Justin has been telling me for years that not all calories are created equal, and Preston says even though some people are skinny, they can still be fat. We are working on changing up my diet so I can finish losing this weight I carry in my stomach and see how well toned I actually am. If you eat less than you take in, you will lose weight, but if you actually eat better than you lose more body fat. With all of this weight I have lost, I have only lost 2% of my body fat. So, we are working on getting my ratio of carbs to protein to fat better. It is a lot of work, but I am loving my results. I keep track of what I eat on myfitnesspal.com. That also helps me keep track of all my carbs and protein etc. Oh, and instead of just trying to give up my caffeine habit, I have been trying to switch it to sugar-free energy drinks. Some of them actually taste okay.

Anyways, here are some more recent pictures of myself:


















47 pounds later, I've dropped from being a size 14 in pants to a size 8. I went from buying large shirts to buying small ones. I am feeling a lot more confident about the way I look.