16 Weeks

Sometimes I feel so small, like the world is so huge and unless I struggle on, I will get swept away in the rush of things. I am completely overwhelmed with all of the work, school, homework and money issues in my life right now. I am scared that it is all too much for me and I have no idea how I will get through it all. I don't remember how I balanced everything before, when I worked full-time and part-time while going to school full-time. When did I find the time to sleep? When did I ever see my family and friends? When did I find time to do my homework?

I am going to school full-time again, and even after the first two days, I already feel completely overwhelmed. They want more money than I have, and since I have to take time off of work to go to school, I can't work to get more money that they school wants. And they just keep adding things on for me to pay for. It isn't enough to have to pay tuition, they want lab fees, and textbook fees, parking pass fees, and supply lists that cost hundreds more dollars. While they are adding in all of these fees, and giving me all this homework, I wonder which priorities come first? Do I do my homework so that all this money isn't going to waste on my education, or do I pick up a few more hours so that I can provide the roof over my head, my food that I eat or the gas money that it takes to get to school or work... Do I just let myself sleep so that I might feel less stressed later, or do I continue with my goals of going to the gym? When do I see my family and spend time with my friends? Which of these things are for me and will make me happy? Am I drowning yet?

So, I'll struggle on because in the end it is all for me. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? I'll try to find that fragile balance, knowing that I work so that I can support myself, and I go to school so that one day I can do what I love. In the end, this semester of school is 16 weeks. That is only 32 days of each of my classes. I can hang on for 16 weeks. Hopefully. I already called mom after my first two classes almost ready to cry and asking if it was okay if I just dropped out. They expect so much and I don't know if I have it in me.

Paid jobs #2 and #3!!

Within the last two weeks of summer, right as I am gearing up to go back to school, I got two different paying portrait photo shoots. It was actually great timing for me since I had to pay just under $600 to get my car fixed, then the $110 to get it re-registered, and then I had to pay another $70 to replace my battery!! Not to mention that my tuition is $1460 and my books today were $320 plus the $30 parking pass.... Anyway, off on a tangent. Back to my second and third paid photography jobs!!

So, first was my friend Liz. I know her through my friend Torrie. Liz wanted some pictures to put into a portfolio and just wanted some of herself in general. She said that the only one in their group of friends to take pictures was Torrie, and since Torrie is on a mission, Liz didn't have any recent pictures of herself. Solution? PAY ME TO DO IT!! :) Here is how my favorites turned out:










Then, my third paid job was for Missy Bennet's younger sister Kristin. Missy's wedding was my first paid job and her younger sister liked my work so much from that, that when she got accepted into the Miss Teen Nationals Pageant, she asked me to do her head shot for her. Here are my favorites from that:

I think they all turned out pretty well! What do you guys thinik? Any favorites? I'm starting school on Wednesday though, so I can learn even more about what I am doing. :)

Turning 22!

Sorry it took me so long to post about my birthday, but I really wanted to get pictures up at the same time. This year I turned 22 and, like last year, when my birthday came around, I felt older. When I turned 21 I felt like things had changed for me, that I was growing up. Older and Wiser as the saying goes. The same thing goes for turning 22. I feel like I know more about myself than I did before, and I feel like I have a direction in life.

To start my birthday off right, I treated myself to getting my hair done! I love that so much and it has been a while since I did it. Megan agreed to do my hair, and as usual, I loved it so much!! The first picture is my "before" hair appointment picture that I took of myself in the mirror.

Here is the "after" picture that Kjersti took. I bought some new clothes for my party too. I felt the part of the birthday girl. :)

I hung out with Kjersti during the day before our family party. Mom made some awesome Stragnoff and Allison made some Calliflower Salad. I put them together because I really like them both, but the combination of them together was actually REALLY good. I had cheesecake for dessert.

We played SceneIt? and Catch Phrase. I think everyone had a really good time. I had a lot of fun. I always love getting together as a family. We have a great one, so it is always really enjoyable. I'm sorry that Danae, Gary and Kjersti were all sick, but it made listening to Danae laughing even more funny. :)

You guys crack me up. Thanks to everyone that went in on the Ipod for me! I love it! And thanks Danae for the awesome birthday card! Kjersti, thanks for the Chai! Mom and Allie, thanks for making ther dinner! Jay, thanks for watching the kids so that I could see that movie. You guys all rock!

For my birthday party I planned to go see the Ugly Truth and go pole dancing with my friends and my sisters. More than half of my friends ended up canceling on me the week of my party and some even right before the movie started. I called Kjersti crying saying that nobody wanted to come to my party. We had a good time though and I am really thnakful for everybody that did come!



The movie was so funny! I think that everyone that went with us had a great time. Todd switched work around so that he could come with us, so Gary and Jay came too since is wasn't just a girl thing anymore. Thanks Mom for watching all the kids!! I appreciate it! Then the boys left so that the girls could go POLE DANCING!!


It was just as fun as I remebered! I think it is a lot of fun, and I love how they make it all about you. I don't mind someone teaching me to dance while making me feel sexy at the same time. :) It is a really good work out though! I was even more sore this time than I was before!


We had different instructors this time and they taught us different things than the other two did. Last time, I really regretted not even trying to go upside down on the pole. So, when one of the instructors started having people go upside down at the base of the pole, even though I was really nervous, I went for it!


You grab the base of the pole and then put your head on your arms. She helps flip you over so that you are upside down going up the pole. Then you lift your head off of your arms, so all of your weight is just on your arms and the pole. It was really cool! I'm glad that I did it.

I LOVE pole dancing!! Thanks again to everyone that came! It really meant a lot to me that you guys would try it with me!









Here are out amazing instructors!! I want to be that good someday!!

Here is the aftermath of pole dancing for me!! OUCH!! My arms were sore for a week afterwards too. They hurt so bad that it would wake me up if I rolled onto them in my sleep! And both of my legs look like this!!

Totally worth it!!

Bad Day

Kjersti had called me last night and asked me if I would go with her to Provo to run some errands. I told her that my car had been making a really bad grinding noise for the last three days, so I would go but we would need to drop my car off to get fixed first. I took it into Burt Brothers, went to the bank and Starbucks, and then we hit the road.

About half an hour later a guy from Burt Brothers calls me and says that they didn't catch the problem soon enough, so I have to replace a bolt and a hub on my car. They said that they could only get the hub from Saturn and it was $280. The bolt is another $90 and the labor is going to be $150. Minutes after that phone call, we see that the traffic in front of us is slowing down. Kjersti hit something that neither one of us saw in the road. We were in the carpool lane and another lady in front of us was stopped with a flat tire. I asked Kjersti if what we hit flattened our tire too, so we got out and looked. Sure enough. Both tires on the drivers side were flat.


We used my cell phone to call for a tow truck. A guy stopped to help the woman in front of us change the tire, and he offered to help us too but since we had two flat tires, there was nothing he could do. We decided to also call the police since we were blocking the car pool lane. There was another car acrossed from us that was blocking the slow lane too.

The police showed up and had to stop all the traffic coming south on I-15 while all the cars made it onto the shoulder of the road, making them drive on their flats. I think that they also looked for what was causing all the damage. We had to fill out a police report while waiting for the tow truck and we called Danae to come and get us.

Turns out that there was a GMC truck with a trailer behind him that dropped all of these L wedges (or whatever they were called) all over the freeway. There were 12 cars total that hit them. The cops were grateful to all of the drivers though, because none of us ended up hitting anyone else and causing more accidents. Some nice guy saw the truck that was dropping all of the stuff all of the freeway and followed him. When he stopped, the guy called the police and told him where to find him. The guy is going to have to pay to fix all 12 cars, including a semi that also hit them.

Kameryn and I rode in the back of a police car to the nearest gas station. Kjersti and Reagan came a little later with the tow-truck guy. Then Danae showed up to take us home. It was a scary experience, but everyone was okay. The kids even slept through the whole thing. I also got my car back after paying the $553 to get it fixed. :( Bad day.

Sunburned!!

I went to the gym on Tuesday, and I decided that I wanted to listen to my new awesome CD while I worked out. I had my discman in my trunk, so I got it out, put my CD in it and closed my trunk. Right as I did it, I realized that my keys were still in the trunk and my car was already locked. I keep a spare in my purse, but, since I was at the gym, my purse was locked safely in my car.

I called mom first. She has a spare key to my car and my apartment. She was still at work though and wouldn't be off for over three hours. I called Kjersti next to see if she had a car and could take me over, but Jay had taken the car to work with him, so she didn't have one. I tried a few of my friends, like Natalie, but no one answered. Mom told me to call Geoffrey to see if he would be willing to walk and meet me halfway, but Geoffrey was already on the phone when I tried to call.

So, I walked from the gym on 1500 S. to Mom's on 1100 N. It took me a little under two hours to get there and back again. It was earlier enough that I didn't think much about the sun. However, I got really sunburned. I should have known. I am always either white or red!

Suspended

So, the back story on this one is that I was working with three other people on Friday night. We were really REALLY busy. In the middle of our rush, this guy comes in and says that he needs a receipt for a cake that he just bought about half an hour earlier. I was helping other people. I never even saw him, but one of the other girls remembered writing on his cake. He said that a guy wrong him up. So, the girl went all through the past transactions for the entire day and couldn't find his cake. I have a way of looking at the amount of everything that we sell as well, and his cake was not in there. So, I found the guy in question that should have wrung him up. He said that he wrung him up and that the guy paid cash. He promised he wrung it up and he has no idea why it wasn't in the register. So, I wrung it up again and we ended up being really short on cash the next morning. We were short about $120 total. Anyways, I told Justin the story and how it sounded to me like this kid was skimming sales. (Meaning that they are charging the customer for the items, but then not completing the sale and keeping the money the customer paid for themselves.) He agreed that it was exactly what that sounded like. I have been the substitute manager while Sarah has been on her vacation, so Justin told me that I had to put this kid on suspension. Most likely he is going to be fired, but Justin is going to talk to him.

Anyways, he had me get his shifts covered for the rest of the week and next week. Then he had me wait to have him come in to tell him that I had done that so that I could get the key back from him that he had used to close the other night. Anyways, the whole thing sucked. I felt really, really bad telling this kid that he was suspended. He didn't get angry. He just got really quiet and said that he didn't know what happened to the money, etc... He must be a good liar, because even though I can't think of any other solution for it, I believed that he had no idea what happened to the money. Also, if that happened to me, suspended or fired, I would be so upset. Especially if it was something that I didn't even do. So, I feel really bad about the whole thing.

This isn't the first thing that this kid and I have disagreed on. He doesn't respect me. He will lean against the counter and text while he is supposed to be working, or take realy long "bathroom" breaks to use his phone. One day he was an hour and a half late for his shift. Overall, he is a crappy worker, but while Sarah was gone, he was trying to do better and he really was improving. Todd says I am just too nice and need to stop worrying about it. He says that this kid created the situation himself and it had nothing to do with me. I still feel bad though.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I think that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince might be my favorite book of the series. It was the one that really blew me away with how well she tied in EVERYTHING that she had written about before and started heading toward the conclusion of the series. I LOVED book six. (I just block out a certain person that died at the end) Anyways, so I just wanted to say that I really liked this movie too. I know that there are always changes between the book and the movies, but not having read it since last year, I felt that they kept most of the more important things that I remember from the book. I think it is strange that they would add in extra things that didn't happen in the book, but it was okay.

Anyways, tonight while I was at work, I overheard four adults talking about the Harry Potter movie. Having never read the books, they were saying how the first three were good and entertaining because they were full of creative new things that were just interesting to see and that even though it was a kid movie, it hekd their interest just because of how imaginative it was. They said that they didn't see the last movie, but they thought that they would still get this one. They were disappointed. They thought that there was no plot in this one, just lots of special effects. And one guy said, "The person behind me kept laughing about everything. I didn't think it was funny. He must have understood the jokes better than I did." I just thought the whole conversation was funny. I think that Harry Potter started out as a kid's movie/book but by the end of #4, I don't think it is really a kid's book anymore. It was also interesting to me that I felt that they added in some scenes to try and add more action/effects to it because there was SO MUCH plot to fit into this movie, while these people didn't seem to think that there was any. I don't think you can jump into a 7 book series with #6 and expect to understand what is going on

Anyways, I just thought that was interesting and I thought I would share my opinion since I didn't say anything to the customers. Obviously. I love Harry Potter. And I think that this is the best put together movie they have made so far. :)

Language of Love

I hope I am not stealing one of Kjersti's blog ideas, but the other day we were talking about how everyone has 5 different ways to show how they love people. And we were wondering if people receive love in the same way that they give it. So, we thought it would be interesting to see what order everyone would put the 5 different ways and if you think that the same would go for how you receive love. The 5 categories are physical affection, words of affection, service, gifts and quality time. Put them in order 1 being what you do the most and 5 what you do the least of.

I think that my list probably looks like this:
1-Gifts
2-Quality Time
3-Words of Affection
4-Physical
5-Service

I think that I learned how to show love through gifts from dad. When we were growing up, I LOVED our CD/book runs. It was so much fun. I also saw how he gave gifts even when he didn't really have much to give, so I think that always stuck with me. I love to give people things, buy things for them and just surprise people by paying for their dinner or their movie. :) If I don't give you gifts though, don't think that I don't love you. It just means I don't see you often enough.

I think that my #2 would be quality time instead of my number one, just because I WORK SO MUCH. Like if I miss a birthday, or something, I usually still try to send a gift, and then take you out to dinner or a movie or something later so you can see that I still care. I love spending quality time with people. And, I know that with my friends, etc... I would rather hang out with one of them for some quality time than just hang out with them all in a huge group. I just like some one on one time better.

I think my #3 is words of affection since I don't always know how to express myself. I think it is important to me, but I don't do it as often as the others.

I think in our family we don't really show affection through touch. We hug a lot, but we have never really been kissers or stuff like that. And, since most of my friends were guys, I don't even really hug a lot of them. I hug my girl friends though. So, I think that makes physical my #4.

Kjersti was saying that service is like doing the dishes, or cleaning the house, or doing the laundry for other people. Service that shows you care by the time you put into it, but doesn't cost you anything. I think I do that they very least. Since I live by myself, I only do that if I have to, and it doesn't affect anyone but me.

So what would you guys say? What is your list? I think that you guys should post your list and then look at what other people would say. Oh, and I think that I respond most to quality time from others. It means a lot to me to get gifts from other people, but I think that quality time is more important to me.

Oops...

So, I had my first LiveWire in seven months... and I was up until 3 am from the caffeine! Oops!

Pretty cool

I was working the other day, no suprise there, and we were really busy. I helped two fireman in the middle of the rush, making sure to get them through as fast as I could since they can be called to leave at any time. Anyways, after I helped them, they sat at the table by the register so I overheard them talking. One fireman was saying to the other one, "This is a hard job. It is busy and they are trying to get everyone threw fast, and they have to stock everything, keep everything clean, wash the dishes, and fill the ice cream..." Or at least something along those lines. It made me feel good.

There is one guy that comes in all the time that really likes to give me a hard time and really makes me feel like shit. He always is asking if we are going to school, etc... making it sound like Baskin Robbins is such a dead end job. He came in on Mother's Day while I was trying to get all of those orders done, etc... and I asked him something twice. I said, "Sorry. It has already been a long day." And he said, "How is that possible?" (since it was only a little before noon). I said, "I just have so much I have to do." And he said, "You think you do. You THINK you do." Meaning, that out there in the real world, my job is a joke and I only think that I have it bad.

So, I appreciate that someone who I feel has a much harder job than me, like a fireman, thinks that my job is hard too. I like that there are some people that actually appreciate what I do. Cause mostly I only hear from the jerks.

Just for a month or two...

So back in September, when Justin asked me to work in Sandy just for a month or two, he actually meant around 10 months instead! I am FINALLY finished working down at Sandy and am back downtown full-time now. I am excited to not have to drive that far anymore, or have to deal with the insane people of Sandy! I will only miss working with Jennifer (the manager down there). On some of my bad days, she would bring me in a Chai to make me feel better. Chai is a quick way to my heart. :) I guess I will also kind of miss doing cakes down there. I always take a lot of pride in my work, so I will always remember having to get things going down there like I did at 4th. The only bad news with being back at 4th now is that I work mostly nights now. :( Oh well. The drawbacks of being Assistant Manager...

ConGRADulations Geoffrey!!

Geoffrey is really choked up about leaving...