Don't Mind Me...

Okay, I realize that some of this is unfair on my part, but I need to vent about some of my friends for a minute. I keep saying everything is okay, but I am not okay! Since I recently found my blog on google, and I don't know who is reading, I won't say names, but I'm sure you guys will get the basic idea.

Friend #1
It is not okay with me that you and I were best friends, and now we only see each other for two hours every three weeks! Yes, I realize that you just got married, but you married an jerk. Plus, you guys dated for over five years. It's not like we started hanging out all the sudden and he didn't like it. We saw each other one or two times a week for a night. We made dinner, and watched movies, and talked and just had a all around good time. That got restricted to that he needed you to make dinner and eat with him before you came over. And now he says that the two hours a week that we hang out is too much and that it needs to be every two to three weeks. Sometimes I just need my best friend! I want to feel like I matter enough for you to tell your husband that you need to spend some time with me too. I wish you would stand up for me. I love you, and I miss you, but I really feel like we are drifting apart. We use our two hours every three weeks just top catch up on what the other one has been doing in the meantime. I wish I could see you more often.

Friend #2
I just threw you the most amazing bachlorette party ever! EVER! I spent so much time and energy making sure that it actually happened, and I made tons of desserts and everything for you!! And, did I mention that I actually threw you TWO parties. Now, even though you said it would be okay for me to come to the temple when you got married to take pictures, and even though I am SO EXCITED for you, you have told me that your soon to be in-laws have said that the temple needs to be family only. Now, this might be unfair, but last time I checked, it was YOUR WEDDING! I think that if you actually wanted me to be there, you would just let me come. Plus, you are going to be missing out on some amazing pictures! I really just feel taken advantage of right now. I think you should be more greatful for everything that I do for you. I have tried to be a good friend to you. I hope you are happy with yourself.

Friend #3
We wrote each other every week on your mission, why would it be so hard to do the same thing now? I realize your busy, but I don't think you realize how much time and effort I put into making sure you knew what was still happening back home. I honestly feel like my best friend that left on his mission never came back. You and I have grown apart so much that it might be too much for me. That might be drastic, because when you are around, we get along great, but when was the last time that you even just checked on how I was doing or made an attempt to come see me? You can drive from Logan to Ely, about 5 hours, to make it to a friend's mission farewell, but you couldn't come home for my birthday? You didn't even call. I want to believe things can be like they were again, but I'm not holding my breath for you anymore.

Friend #4
I realize that you and I haven't been good friends for a long time now, and you broke up with one of the coolest guys ever, so now we have even less in common. I didn't want to put you in the calender I am making for my friends anyway because I didn't want your ex to have to see pictures of you, but when I asked you if you wanted to be in it, I wish you hadn't said no. That was a confirmation to me exactly how far our friendship has failed. I don't understand how you changed so much, or maybe I am just done giving you the benefit of a doubt that you aren't actually as self-centered as you think you are.

Friend #5
I wish you hadn't given your friend my phone number. He calls me and texts me all the time and I hate it, but I am too worried about offending you to tell either one of you that. I wish you treated me better. You and I are really the best of friends when we aren't fighting. Too bad we always do.

Friend #6
You are one of the most shelfish people I know! (Only rivaled by Friend #4) I know you and your boyfriend have problems, but you know how to fix it and just don't. You like playing the victim with everything because you like people to feel bad for you. You talk badly about everyone, but still expect them to be so nice to you and listen about fight #367,898,674 between you and your boyfriend. You guys fight more than there are sequels for the Land Before Time, and no one at work cares! And, your brother drives me more crazxy than you do! I have told him to stop calling me, but he won't.

Friend #7
You and I haven't been friends for years, but I have been holding on to you for too long. We were best friends and I wanted to think that it was all just a big misunderstanding and it would go away. If you couldn't trust him, you two shouldn't have gotten married because the thought hadn't ever even crossed my mind. And, if you really didn't trust me that much, you and I were obviously never the friends that I thought we were. Your ready to apologize and be friends again, and even though that is what I wanted, I realized that you waited too long to try and come back.

So, I am done trying so hard. I'm done trying at all with some of you. I still have great memories of you guys, but I am done thinking that is enough for how some of you treat me. If you want to be my friend, then just show me. Don't assume that I know, because I don't. All I want to feel is that you actually give a damn. Is that really so much to ask? If it is, then this is over. I can't hold a friendship alone.